Before I go to bed, I was thinking about how I see other people. More to the point my view toward interactions with people. I was going through my box of metaphors, trying to find a way to describe it. Anybody who has spent any time with me discussing things, would know I like my metaphors. I collect like some people collect junk in their house. Just call me the crazy old metaphor women. Oh my God, I used a metaphor describe my use of metaphor. How cool is that? Ok its cool to me. Don’t rain on my parade by telling me different.
It sits there on my screen tempting me. I think to myself maybe temptation is the wrong word. It is not the one tempting me. I am tempting myself. To respond to it is a way of avoiding something ugly and disgusting. For that reason it is easy to respond and avoid that which is ugly and disgusting.
I wish things could be the ideal. How much simpler life would be if things where that way. The ideal being a world where we are totally honest about ourselves, accepting of other people as they are not what we expect them to be and so on. This fairy tale existence that we have in our head.
Its time to drop out of another community. You would think that it would be the place for me. After all we seek the same thing, you would think it would be the perfect match. Just how we go about is totally different that I just cannot relate to the rest of them. At least the ones that make a lot of noise and let themselves be heard.
Getting very distraught He the one she cotaught Devoted it some thought It's was all for naught as gnats fell and splat rat just wanted to chat With the cat in the hat Who coughed furballs at intersection that was t
Well I did it today. On one hand I feel overjoyed that I did finally did do it. Now its out of my hands and in someone elses hands. What happens from here well be decided by someone else and I can go from there.
I have to find a place to rest. I cannot keep walking like this much longer. The pain in the leg was severe. Every step seem like agony. But I had to find a place that was safe first. I knew once I stopped I would pass out. That might prove to be the one thing that would do me in.
--------- --------- | | | a low decor hanging precisely slanted above the u --------- ---------
I just got done talking to my mom and wishing her a happy mother’s day. It really hurt and was disappointing. Not because I have bad feelings toward my mom but because it hurts so much to be reminded of what she has become now. She is in a nursing home with dementia. There is the usually disappointment in that she cannot share what is happening in my life which was something I liked deeply, but there is a lot of emotion and bad feelings toward the rest of my family over what lead up to her being put in the nursing home. But the story of why I feel that way toward my sisters is for another time.
She sat at the kitchen table with her calculus book open and scribbling furiously on the paper. Even though she was physically there, her mind was in another world. A world of figures, problems that needed a solution and letters that meant something else besides being the building blocks of words. This world she loved without a doubt. It made sense to her. Finally something she could understand and figure out. She could spend all day and night in this world where there were no monsters.